Fake Candied Jalapeno Dip

So yes...I am an amazing person. I'm even more amazing for sharing my brand-new heirloom recipe with all of you! I needed an jalapeno kick and a candy kick and I love me some candied jalapenos. I know this sounds amazing and that you want to applaud my beautiful mind for coming up with a lazy way to make such a delicacy but please wait until the end of this presentation to do so.  I think I've kept you waiting at the edge of your seat for long enough, so without further ado, I present to you: Fake Candied Jalapeno Dip!

FOR THIS RECIPE YOU WILL NEED:

4 jalapenos
2 cups sugar
1 bottle honey
1 tub cream cheese
1 tbsp salt
season salt (optional)
cayenne pepper (optional)

Jalapeno or Green Salsa flavored chips/crackers are highly recommended.

Dice up your peppers. I'm lazy and I didn't seed them. This will give your dip a bit of a kick so if you don't like that, you can seed 'em. Throw the sugar over the diced jalapenos and let that mix sit for about 15 minutes. Add the salt, stir it and give it another 15 minutes. I don't know how to describe what it does scientifically, but it makes them soft and syrupy instead of crunchy. I suppose a person could pan fry them in the sugar and that would probably be very tasty, but again...Lazy factor, I'm not doing it.

In another bowl, dump your tub of cream cheese and about 1/5th a bottle of honey and the season salt/cayenne pepper. Whisk it all together. Now take out a fork and scoop out the jalapenos from the bowl. Do not dump it in there, you don't really want all that sugar in your dip. Now savor every bite by complementing it with those flavored chips/crackers I recommended in red, bold and italics. You may praise my genius now.