Peanut Butter Hummus

So I wont lie, I stole this recipe from PETA and then modified it. Ok so I got the idea from PETA and then did my own thing and never looked at their recipe cuz I was too lazy, so I guess I don't really need to link back to them. Especially since theirs was supposedly vegan and mine could be considered vegetarian but certainly not vegan. Anyway, this stuff is crazy yummy and crazy simple to make.

FOR THIS RECIPE YOU WILL NEED:

1 can of chickpeas
1/3 cup of peanut butter
1/3 cup of chocolate chips
1/4 cup of honey
1/4 cup of applesauce

You could take the extra lazy way out and throw all this in the blender, but since my blender was broken, I used a potato masher. Then I ate it with gluten free crackers since I'm gluten sensitive, but I wanted to eat it with chocolate graham crackers, so if you can, you should and tell me how it is. It took me more time to write this blog than to make it. Didn't I tell you it was fast?

Green Sun Tea

Summer is here and it's time for something cool and refreshing to drink! Recently, I have become quite disgusted by what we call food. e.g Pink slime, cellulose, high fructose corn syrup, food dyes made from gasoline bi-products. I pretend the ingredients I cook with are made of rainbows and sunshine because here in Central TX, I have no "real-food" options.

But it's bad form to make your readers gag on a food blog so let's move on. I wanted something to drink that wasn't full of poison and I knew I'd need to make it myself. Then my husband came home with an Arizona Green Tea and I figured out how to imitate it at home for about fifty cents a gallon and without corn syrup, "natural"flavors, citric acid or ginseng extract.

FOR THIS RECIPE YOU WILL NEED:

1 gallon sized empty milk jug
5 bags of green tea
1 bag of ginseng tea
1/3 of a honey bear*
1 working faucet **

Fill up your empty jug with the hottest water that will come out of your tap. Don't do something silly like boiling its and pouring it in, you'll melt the jug and the entire point of sun tea is that you don't have to boil it. Now dump 1/3 of a honey bear in. The hot water will mostly dissolve it for you. Stick the tea bags in but leave the square paper part out and make sure it goes past the screwy part of the jug. Screw the lid back on, (yes it will go over the strings just fine) and shake it gently three times.

Set the jug out in the sun and walk away for an hour or two. Now forget you made it and go make another gallon. Set that outside and find yourself pleasantly surprised that you have some finished green tea. Take that jug back inside, remove the tea bags and set it in the fridge till it's cold. Eventually go get the second jug and do the same thing.


*So what if I dont know how much honey is in a bear or how much a third of one bear is. You aren't gonna spoon honey into a milk jug now are you?

**I guess one could buy a jug already filled with fancy, shmancy distilled water or something. But your honey wouldn't dissolve as quickly in the cooler water so there!

Storm Soup

So I made soup for the first time in my life today. OK, that's a lie, I have opened up cans of soup, poured them into bowls and heated them in the microwave in the past but does that really count? For Lazy chef purposes, yes. but that's not the point.

What prompted me to make soup from scratch? Weather that threatened to go twister on us and possibly cut electricity and the fact that we have been putting of grocery shopping for a while.  I hurriedly threw open my cupboards and grabbed what I knew could be cooked quickly. I call this Storm Soup because if you want to make dinner before the power goes out, it takes about 20 minutes (prep included), feeds 4 and if you lose power in the first 10 minutes, you can still keep going if you move quickly...

For this recipe you will need:

2 small frozen chicken breasts
1.5 liquid chicken bouillon boxes
green beans (because you have no peas)
macaroni noodles
 spices (whatever you feel like but salt and pepper are a good start)

Now, I am assuming you are rushing to beat the storm like me so quickly clean your dirty soup pot and dump the chicken bouillon in as fast as you can. Dump in as many green beans as you feel like. Set to boil and snatch the chicken out of the freezer . Toss that in and wipe up the bouillon you spilled. Dump some random spices in there and when it comes to a rolling boil, cut into the middle of your chicken to see if it is white all the way through...

If your chicken is cooked through, grab a box of mac and cheese out of your cupboard, yank the cheese powder and toss the noodles into the boiling water for 8 minutes. After that, shred the chicken and eat...

If your power cuts off after your water comes to a rolling boil, dinner will take longer but the already boiling water should continue cooking your chicken. Just throw the noodles in right away instead and put a cover over your pot to keep the heat in. Check your chicken in about 20 minutes and it should be cooked through, along with the noodles. If you threw in medium to large sized breasts after I told you small in bold, underlined italics you are probably screwed...

$15 Dollar Salad

You know how restaurants tend to have fancy and colorful salads for outrageous prices? Well, I invented one of those this morning in a mad scramble to make food with two sick kids yelling at me. I don't have much time to make jokes and describe it since I will be screamed at again any second. At least know I can still eat gourmet food while playing super mommy.

FOR THIS RECIPE YOU WILL NEED:

1 can artichoke hearts
1 can beans (your choice but I don't recommend refried)
1 can green beans
Lettuce
Shredded Chicken
2 TBSP mayonnaise
1 TSP honey
salt*
ginger*
lemon pepper *
*All spices are to taste

Open the cans and toss the ingredients into a medium sized bowl. Now walk away for 10 minutes to deal with your sick, screaming children and forget you were making food. When the house quiets down, wander back into the kitchen and finish making food. Add the mayo, honey and spices and mix it all up wildly.

Throw some lettuce on a plate and then toss some shredded chicken on top of it. Scoop a bunch of your can concoction on the top of that and eat as fast as you can because the whining has already started back up.  Serves four and you now have a salad that you would normally pay $8-15 dollars for and minus the 10 minute child hiatus, it took less than 5 minutes to make!